The Brief: A dinosaur eating a R and an O and an S and a I and a E
The Critique: That's not what I want. That's a Brachiosaurus. I want a T Rex. He's supposed to have the other letters in his mouth too. See look! He's only eating that one. What letter is that?
Job Status: Rejected
The Brief: I'm going to tell you what to draw. Draw a dragon sneaking up on a girl. She's picking flowers.
The Critique: Daddy it's not supposed to be like that! He has dog legs! I'm so mad at you! I'm going to erase those legs! Daddy why did you do those legs??? [collapses in tears]
Job Status: Rejected
Second Attempt:
The Critique: No I hate the dragon's head! Because there's two dragons - see look: this is a dragon and this is a dragon. That one has paws and this one has paws. See look: That is the difference. Now draw it on the back! Get that one away. Erase it daddy - erase it now. Don't put it on the computer!
Job Status: Rejected
Late Update: I added the oil painting of the first one above and it's actually APPROVED! The rejection is from the sketch.
The Brief: A Crocodile
The Critique: What's he going to do to that bird? Is he going to eat him? That's not what I want. You have to do it with him killing that bird.
Job Status: Rejected
Additional Comments: Killing Daddy killing! Can you do it killing him?
The Brief: A cat killing a rat
The Critique (on the preliminary sketch - no longer extant): No! He's supposed to be in the cat's mouth! That rat looks like a kangaroo! [Art Director grabs my eraser and succeeds in erasing the entire sketch before I can stop her]
Job Status: Rejected and destroyed.
Second attempt (above):
The Critique: Yeah, like that.
Job Status: Approved.
The Brief: A Monkey
The Critique: Stupid ugly angry monkey. I hate him.
Job Status: Rejected
Additional Comments: His tummy and his belly button and his eyebrows and his hands and his feet. And his head too.
The Brief: A dinosaur, not too scary
The Critique: He's a ugly one! I hate those kind of dinosaurs! Where's your eraser?
Job Status: Rejected
Additional Comments: [hits page] He has ugly eyeballs.
The Brief: A monster (on spec)
The Critique: Too scary! He's a tomato and he's yelling right in my ear!
Job Status: Rejected
The Brief: Some Silly Dinosaurs
The Critique: I like it
Artist Angling For A Better Quote: Anything you don't like about it?
The Critique: Don't ask me that Daddy! Just give me a treat right now!
Job Status: Approved
The Brief: A dinosaur chasing us
The Critique: Where's us? Draw us on the picture! I'm going to fix him the way I like him. This is how I don't like him. Please, please erase him! Erase him now!
Job Status: Rejected
Additional Comments: Get those claws out of here!
Artist Statement: The Tiny Art Director hates this more than anything I've ever done for her, with the possible exception of the crocodiles from the other day.
The Brief: Crocodiles
Preliminary Sketch (no longer extant): Upon seeing the preliminary sketch, the art director, in a rather unprofessional outburst, collapsed on the floor sobbing and screaming.
The Critique: The back is so so so bad I don't even want to look at it! You always do that to the crocodile's back!
Job Status: Rejected and Destroyed
Finished Version (above):
The Critique: Good. The big one is me. You can be the little one.
Job Status: Approved
The Brief: Biggie [her sister], Mama, and me
The Critique: It looks ugly. The top of Mommy's hair and my hair! But Biggie's hair is the right way I like it.
Job Status: Rejected
The Brief: A barking dog
The Critique: No Daddy! I didn't ask you to sit down! Go out of this room right now daddy!
Job Status: Rejected
The Brief: A Dragon
The Critique: It's dumb Daddy. You should erase it. Grow up Daddy.
Job Status: Rejected
The Brief: Can you just paint one poo-poo in a frame? The poo-poo is an airplane.
The Critique: Good. I want a treat.
Job Status: Approved
[click label "poo-poo" below for the history of this commission]
