Purple Gatorade and Uger

The Brief: Purple Gatorade [The Tiny Art Director's Fish] The Critique: Why did you draw Uger? [Her sister's fish] I hate Uger! Why is his eyes like that? It looks like he's mad. What are you writing down? Grownups never lie, right Daddy? Dad, that doesn't look like Purple Gatorade. Only mine looks like Purple Gatorade. You're going to scan it, and then when you're done with it, it's going to be scrappled up and thrown in the garbage. And then mine will be our final picture. Job Status: Rejected Our Final Picture: at right

X-Ray T-Rex

The Brief: A dinosaur in a X-Ray
The Critique: I just want to see a little mousey in his tummy
Job Status: Approved (after addition of mousey)
Additional Comments: That's what kind of bones dogs like to chew on. Dinosaur leg bones.

Alphaphageosaurus

The Brief: A dinosaur eating a R and an O and an S and a I and a E
The Critique: That's not what I want. That's a Brachiosaurus. I want a T Rex. He's supposed to have the other letters in his mouth too. See look! He's only eating that one. What letter is that?
Job Status: Rejected

A Duck and a Crocodile

The Brief: A Crocodile
The Critique: What's he going to do to that bird? Is he going to eat him? That's not what I want. You have to do it with him killing that bird.
Job Status: Rejected
Additional Comments: Killing Daddy killing! Can you do it killing him?

Stupid Ugly Angry Monkey. I Hate Him

The Brief: A Monkey
The Critique: Stupid ugly angry monkey. I hate him.
Job Status: Rejected
Additional Comments: His tummy and his belly button and his eyebrows and his hands and his feet. And his head too.

Ugly Eyeballs

The Brief: A dinosaur, not too scary
The Critique: He's a ugly one! I hate those kind of dinosaurs! Where's your eraser?
Job Status: Rejected
Additional Comments: [hits page] He has ugly eyeballs.

Tomato Monster

The Brief: A monster (on spec)
The Critique: Too scary! He's a tomato and he's yelling right in my ear!
Job Status: Rejected

Some Silly Dinosaurs

The Brief: Some Silly Dinosaurs
The Critique: I like it
Artist Angling For A Better Quote: Anything you don't like about it?
The Critique: Don't ask me that Daddy! Just give me a treat right now!
Job Status: Approved

Looking Backwards: A Dinosaur Chasing Us

The Brief: A dinosaur chasing us
The Critique: Where's us? Draw us on the picture! I'm going to fix him the way I like him. This is how I don't like him. Please, please erase him! Erase him now!
Job Status: Rejected
Additional Comments: Get those claws out of here!
Artist Statement: The Tiny Art Director hates this more than anything I've ever done for her, with the possible exception of the crocodiles from the other day.

Crocodiles

The Brief: Crocodiles
Preliminary Sketch (no longer extant): Upon seeing the preliminary sketch, the art director, in a rather unprofessional outburst, collapsed on the floor sobbing and screaming.
The Critique: The back is so so so bad I don't even want to look at it! You always do that to the crocodile's back!
Job Status: Rejected and Destroyed

Finished Version (above):
The Critique: Good. The big one is me. You can be the little one.
Job Status: Approved

Something to Say

The Brief: A barking dog
The Critique: No Daddy! I didn't ask you to sit down! Go out of this room right now daddy!
Job Status: Rejected

On the House

The Brief: A Dragon
The Critique: It's dumb Daddy. You should erase it. Grow up Daddy.
Job Status: Rejected

Poo-Poo Airplane - by repeated request

The Brief: Can you just paint one poo-poo in a frame? The poo-poo is an airplane.
The Critique: Good. I want a treat.
Job Status: Approved

[click label "poo-poo" below for the history of this commission]

Duck Biting Dinosaur

The Brief: A dinosaur eating a baby, like last time
Artist Negotiation: How about something other than a dinosaur?
The Brief, Revised: A duck. A duck biting a dinosaur's tail.
The Critique: I want a goat and a piggie
Job Status: Rejected

Bone Dinosaur Eating a Baby

The Brief: A bone dinosaur eating a little baby
The Critique: No! A baby dinosaur!
Job Status: Rejected
Additional Comments: He's just going to be nice to that baby he's got in his mouth

Baby Dinosaur Eating an Orange

The Brief: A Scary Baby Dinosaur
The Critique: No! You color him some more! Can I put makeup on him?
Job Status: Rejected
Additional Comments: Stop Drawing! Stop Drawing!

CH and Dinosaur Mouth

The Brief: CH and a mouth
The Critique: NO!!!! CH and a mouth!!!
Job Status: Rejected
Additional Comments: I hate the mouth and the teeth.

Octopus

The Brief: an octopus
The Critique: I don't like the scary green fish because he's bad. I want to help you. I want to erase him.
Job Status: Rejected

Sick Crocodile

The Brief: Sick Crocodile
The Critique: He is yucky. he has a snuffy nose and a cough
Job Status: Rejected

Dinosaur Bath

The Brief: I want you to draw me a dinosaur! Not a scary one! He's taking a bath.
The Critique: I don't like him.
Job Status: Rejected