Dog Legs

The Brief: I'm going to tell you what to draw. Draw a dragon sneaking up on a girl. She's picking flowers.
The Critique: Daddy it's not supposed to be like that! He has dog legs! I'm so mad at you! I'm going to erase those legs! Daddy why did you do those legs??? [collapses in tears]
Job Status: Rejected


Second Attempt:
The Critique: No I hate the dragon's head! Because there's two dragons - see look: this is a dragon and this is a dragon. That one has paws and this one has paws. See look: That is the difference. Now draw it on the back! Get that one away. Erase it daddy - erase it now. Don't put it on the computer!
Job Status: Rejected

Late Update: I added the oil painting of the first one above and it's actually APPROVED! The rejection is from the sketch.

Kangaroo Rat

The Brief: A cat killing a rat
The Critique (on the preliminary sketch - no longer extant): No! He's supposed to be in the cat's mouth! That rat looks like a kangaroo! [Art Director grabs my eraser and succeeds in erasing the entire sketch before I can stop her]
Job Status: Rejected and destroyed.

Second attempt (above):
The Critique: Yeah, like that.
Job Status: Approved.

Ugly Eyeballs

The Brief: A dinosaur, not too scary
The Critique: He's a ugly one! I hate those kind of dinosaurs! Where's your eraser?
Job Status: Rejected
Additional Comments: [hits page] He has ugly eyeballs.

Looking Backwards: A Dinosaur Chasing Us

The Brief: A dinosaur chasing us
The Critique: Where's us? Draw us on the picture! I'm going to fix him the way I like him. This is how I don't like him. Please, please erase him! Erase him now!
Job Status: Rejected
Additional Comments: Get those claws out of here!
Artist Statement: The Tiny Art Director hates this more than anything I've ever done for her, with the possible exception of the crocodiles from the other day.

On the House

The Brief: A Dragon
The Critique: It's dumb Daddy. You should erase it. Grow up Daddy.
Job Status: Rejected

Kangaroo and Giraffe

The Brief: A giraffe and a kangaroo fighting over an apple
The Critique: Where's the dinosaur?! Draw me a dinosaur right now Daddy!
Job Status: Rejected
Artists Comments: After completing the project I documented the two year old art director's instructions and reaction. She took offense at this and tried to erase my notes.
When I took away my eraser, she yelled "I don't like your notes!", and scribbled all over them with my pencil. She then ran to the bathroom and ran water over the piece of paper. "Look at them now Daddy!"

Octopus

The Brief: an octopus
The Critique: I don't like the scary green fish because he's bad. I want to help you. I want to erase him.
Job Status: Rejected